You Were A Kindness
by eughhh
Summary: Highschool Gail x College Holly AU. Drawing from Nick's mention of how he met Gail while she was being a (bad) waitress. Explores Gail at this time, as she begins to deviate from the Peck family legacy bestowed on her but still very much lost in the world. Holly is a college student who appears to be her own person and know exactly what she wants in life. *first fic*
1. Fumbling fingers, soggy pages

**Hi, this is the first fic I've ever actually written down. I've been wanting to do a highschool AU for a bit but wanted to do it a bit differently and mirror the show a bit more in terms of the development/maturity of each character and this seems like an interesting period in Gail's life, where she's on the verge of change. Hopefully it's not terrible! While AU I do plan to have some parallels with the show, reworking different Golly scenes to make them cohesive with this fic, most RB characters will make an appearance too. Please let me know what you think ^.^**

**XXXX**

Gail hisses sharply as the steam from the espresso machine lashes at her hand while she finishes off a customer's double shot soy latte to go. She bites back the expletives that threaten to bubble from her mouth, opting to chew down hard on her lip and shake the stinging sensation out of her hand instead.

"Gail we're getting a bit backlogged over here," her boss warns gruffly over his shoulder while he juggles taking a customer's order and preparing a sandwich.

Gail nodded weakly, trying to regroup her focus amongst all the distraction in the bustling cafe. She'd had this waitressing job for a few months now and was usually a gun at making coffees varying in degrees of ridiculousness but today she was majorly off her game and the just-before-closing-time rush was turning her into a frazzled mess. Gail Peck does not do frazzled. Wiping her hands on her apron Gail then attempted with shaky hands to pop the lid on the paper cup, her awkward fumbling causing her to spill a wave of light brown liquid down the sides of the cup.

"Dammit," Gail muttered as her boss barked her name somewhere in the background causing her to hastily wipe the cup down and hurry off in the direction of the girl who had ordered it. Gail scanned the small café before spotting the girl with the glasses and brown hair who was sat waiting with her eyes glued to some papers.

"Double shot latte to go," Gail more or less slurred as she placed the cup on the table and prepared to pivot back into the kitchen when she heard the girl gasp. Gail could feel a cold sensation of dread sink in her stomach, turning around and seeing the lid had not been on properly and the contents of the cup now drenched the girl's work.

"Fuck. Uh, I mean I am so sorry," Gail bumbled frantically trying to contain the spill with the dish rag that had been slung over her shoulder. The girl didn't say anything, just stared at the now disintegrating papers wide eyed, in a state of shock. Finally the girl spoke, letting out a long string of 'no's' before standing up quickly.

"I'll get you another one right away, on the house," Gail offered weakly, hoping the girl wasn't going to start yelling at her or worse, start crying.

"No," she said this time more firmly, "Don't worry about it, I have to go now anyway."

Gail watched as the girl stalked out of the shop and immediately felt her face flush, embarrassed that she had practically chucked coffee all over a customer and that she'd ruined her work too. She didn't have time to dwell on it though so briefly finished mopping up the mess she'd created before retreating back to the espresso machine.

XXXX

She released a loud sigh as she finished wiping down the last table after closing time. She lowered herself wearily onto a chair and arched her back, relishing in the sensation of her spine flexing after spending the afternoon hunched over making coffee after coffee. She kind of hated her job when she thought about it. She burnt herself **a lot**, was surrounded by food she wasn't allowed to eat and had to be polite and exhibit some degree of friendliness to hundreds of strangers. The way she felt right now after an all-round terrible further compounded her hatred for the job, a dull ache beginning to emanate from between her eyes.

Sure, the money was a nice incentive but it wasn't why Gail still borderline tortured herself three days a week. Coming home smelling like burnt coffee and cooking oil was worth it to see the flicker of annoyance on her mother's face, quite possibly serving as Gail's best method of revenge. For a woman who had planned out Gail's entire life from the day she was born to the day she's supposed to enter the police academy, her job at the café was something about Elaine did not plan and was pretty much unable to control. Gail could've gone down a more typical path of rebellion; drugs, skipping school or maybe a 28 year old boyfriend, but those would all be way too easy for her mother to shut down, give her too much ammunition against Gail. A job however made Gail appear responsible and capable and as long as it didn't make her school work suffer there was no reasonable way her mother could forbid her from doing it. She supposed it didn't make much sense; even Steve couldn't really grasp what she was trying to do, after all if she wanted money her parents would give it to her. Gail didn't really care if it made sense or not, at the very least it made her relish in her state exhaustion, reminding her of the autonomy and control she had over at least this small aspect of her life.

"You all done Gail?" her boss Tony inquired as he sorted through the day's earnings. Tony was a thirty-something and balding fellow, not quite what she would consider a 'hipster' but still sported a tame beard and glasses she wasn't quite sure he actually needed. He was nice enough, a little short with her at times and not much of a conversationalist but this suited Gail just fine. Plus he hadn't fired her yet even though she did things like spill coffee all over paying customers.

"Yeah, all done Tony," she replied standing up and tucking the chair in before going behind the counter to grab her bag, slinging it over shoulder which ached in protest.

"Alright, see you tomorrow," he said dismissing her without looking up from the cash register and Gail began to leave when he called her back suddenly.

"This important?" he queried, thrusting a bunch of brown soggy papers in her direction. Gail realised it was the customer's work she'd destroyed and quickly accepted it off him before he figured out what she'd done.

"Thanks, boss," she murmured, trying in vain to subdue the heat rising to cheeks as her brain began to reprocess the embarrassing moment from earlier. She stepped out into the cool air of the September night, grateful for its effect on her flushed face as she walked to the bus stop desperately hoping she had not just missed one. She just managed to make the bus, sinking into a seat toward the back before turning her attention to the paper in her hands which she realised must be some sort of university assignment judging by the cover sheet. She scanned over the University of Toronto logo in the middle of the page before her eyes landed on the top right corner.

_Honours Bachelor of Science: Minor Thesis_

_Due: Thursday, 18__th__ of September_

_Holly Stewart_

"Shit," Gail murmured upon realising that the paper, which appeared to be a big deal, had been due that day. No wonder the girl freaked out and left. Gail felt even worse now, guilt creeping to the forefront of her mind and causing a heavy feeling of uneasiness to wash over her. She hoped the girl, Holly that is, managed to reprint the paper in time or that maybe she'd come back to the cafe sometime soon so Gail could apologise. Gail generally wasn't too fussed by the feelings of others, especially perfect strangers but she took no pleasure in screwing with somebody's work, in her final year of high school she knew all too well the internal panic that set in on due dates and that's without some idiot waitress destroying your work in front of your eyes.

Deciding there was no use fretting over it now, she placed the still damp papers in her bag, not really wanting to keep it but feeling a bit rude leaving somebody's weeks, maybe even months of hard work under a bus seat. Gail sat back in the crusty, worn out bus seat and pressed her scalded hand up against the cold glass window as she watched the city pass by in the night.


	2. I'm sorry, kind of

**I already had this chapter written up so figured I'd upload it and keep the ball rolling. While I do a lot of writing, very little of it is actually fiction so everything I've written still sounds a bit weird. Please let me know what you think, I have a fair bit planned out and have plenty of time on my hands at the moment so willing to update regularly. **

**XXXX**

Gail swiped some stray hairs back behind her ear and leaned on the counter, propping her chin on her curled fist as she gazed absent-mindedly at the day's newspaper. They were having a slow day which Gail was grateful for, between the killer shift yesterday and a seemingly never ending day at school the last thing she felt like doing was running around serving people for four hours.

Her moment of peace was disturbed by the sound of the bell above the door chiming, causing Gail to look up, an action she immediately regretted when she recognised the newcomer as the girl from yesterday. The girl whose hopes and dreams she'd probably destroyed. Gail pushed herself off the counter and hurried to the backroom where Tony was putting a delivery of milk in the fridge.

"I, uh need to the use the bathroom, can you cover the register for me?" Gail asked hopefully, bouncing from foot to foot to make her request seem more urgent. Tony sighed a bit more dramatically than required for the situation and told her to be quick before heading out to the register. Gail headed toward the bathroom before remembering she didn't actually need to use it and ended up just standing pathetically in the back room hiding from this girl she barely knew. Her reverie was interrupted by Tony calling her, Gail groaned realising a reasonable time to use the toilet had elapsed and she had very little choice but to go back out there.

She was pleasantly surprised when she walked back out that Holly was no longer at the register and was somewhat relieved she wouldn't have to serve her. That is until Tony walked back over to her and shoved a takeaway cup into her hands, the order '_dbl soy latte - Holly_' scrawled sloppily on the side causing Gail to resign herself to the fact she would have to face the girl and apologise sooner or later.

As she lowered the lid onto the cup Gail was fairly sure that this was the longest she'd ever taken to make a latte, which she tried to justify as her merely making sure there was nothing wrong with it, but subconsciously admitted to herself that she was just attempting to stall. She gave the lid one last smack to make sure it was secure, eyeing it suspiciously as she picked it up and began walking over to where Holly was sitting. She wasn't quite sure why she was making a big deal out of it, after all yesterday she had desperately wanted to apologise to the girl. She had never seen this girl come in before though and suspected that her coming back a day after Gail's disastrous display of hospitality was purely to confront and berate Gail for her incompetency. At least that's what Gail would feel like doing if the situation was reversed.

She had just walked past the cake display case and was about step out from behind the counter when she decided as a peace offering of sorts she should throw in a slice of cake, which might subdue the girl's anger somewhat. Gail decided carrot cake was a sensible choice and after cutting off a healthy slice and plating it she embarked on the final leg of her journey.

Gail approached the girl's table and placed the cake and coffee down cautiously. The girl looked up from where she was fiddling with her phone, pushing her glasses back up from where they had slipped down on the bridge of her nose.

"I didn't order any cake."

Gail's eyebrows scrunched together in slight confusion. Of all the things she anticipated her to say, it definitely wasn't that.

"I know," Gail reassured, her voice cracking slightly which made her grimace internally, "it's free of charge, and so is the latte. I just wanted to apologise for yesterday, I kind of destroyed your thesis or whatever and I'm really, really sorry about that." Gail stopped when she realised she was ranting a bit and shrugged her shoulder's to indicate it wasn't a big deal when she saw Holly begin to protest.

"Oh, well thanks," Holly pulled the cup toward her slowly, smiling and looking up at Gail, "thanks for actually putting the lid on this time."

Gail could feel her face flush and she looked down, again caught off guard by Holly's apparent lack of irritation over yesterday's events but before she could apologise again, Holly cut her off.

"Sorry, didn't mean to embarrass you," she said in a playful tone which indicated that had probably been her exact intention, "but really don't sweat it, I had another two hours to print off another one and hand it in. I just kind of freaked out because well I just get a bit on edge around due dates, you know?"

Gail nodded slowly before finding her voice, "um well that's good, I'm glad that it uh worked out for you and you know, sorry… again." At this Gail jammed her hands in her back pockets to stop herself from making any more awkward gestures and retreated back to the relative safety of behind the counter.

She attempted to make herself look busy by wiping down the already clean counter, frowning as she felt a certain pair of bespectacled eyes watching her. She sprang up when she heard the bell chime again, uncharacteristically eager for an opportunity to serve a customer, that is until she saw who it was.

"Hey, Nick," she said, her attempt to sound casual failing miserably as she overemphasised the 'k', coming off rather terse. Of course Nick didn't seem to notice, he just greeted her with that dumb, dopy smile he always had plastered on his face.

"Hey Gail," he replied as he slid onto one of stools at the front counter, trapping Gail into further conversation. "How was your day?"

Gail internalised a groan. This is what she hated so much about Nick, because she knew he genuinely wanted to know how her day was. Just like he genuinely really liked her and genuinely wanted to take her on a date, not that she could understand why. It was almost enough to make Gail feel a bit bad about blowing him off last week.

She shrugged as she rubbed a tea towel around the inside of an already dry glass, avoiding his eye contact, "alright, nothing noteworthy," she said while feigning interest in a non-existent smudge on the lip of the glass, purposely leaving no room for reply.

"Cool, well I was wondering if you wanted to come see this band with me tonight, I dunno I think you said you liked them one time, or maybe that was a different band," Nick faltered slightly at this but continued, "either way they're really good, it could be fun." His voice trailed off toward the end, shrugging his shoulders and fiddling with a straw in an attempt to appear indifferent.

Gail sighed. She liked Nick. He was a nice enough guy and decent company. She had met him at some gross party Dov and Chris dragged her along to during the summer, she had beaten him at some dumb drinking game and then she went home with him. In her drunken state she'd given him her number and they hung out a few times but usually just ended up getting drunk together and then going back to his house to have sex which, for a while was alright, in fact Gail kind of liked the informal arrangement. But when he started asking her out for dinner and buying her things, Gail had to stop him before it went any further. There was nothing wrong with Nick per say… she just didn't see the point in a relationship right now, she was too busy with school and her job and even then she wasn't quite cruel enough to string him along like that when she didn't feel the same way. Plus all of that attention had made her feel weird.

"Nick," she said gently, frustrated with his persistence but trying her best not to stomp on his pathetic, hopeful little heart, "we talked about this. I don't want to go out with you, or you know be your girlfriend or whatever."

Nick looked down at the counter and chuckled, "I _know_ Gail you made that pretty clear and I get it, I was just asking you as a friend. We used to just hang out before I made everything weird. We were friends right?"

"Yeah, I guess," she said coolly, not wanting him to get too excited. "But I can't anyway; I have to meet up with my mother," she tried to school her features to not reveal her annoyance at this fact but was pretty sure she failed.

Nick raised his eyebrows, "Say no more then," he of all people knew that if Gail had to meet with her mother then Gail **had** to meet with her mother. She'd once run out on him while they both had their pants down when she'd forgotten she was supposed to meet her for an appointment. He stood up and shot her a parting smile, which made Gail wonder why she was even friends with someone who smiled this much.

"Guess I'll see you later then," he said before stepping outside, the door swinging shut behind him. Gail was watching him leave on his motorbike, a terrible cliché that attempted to bolster the whole 'bad boy' image he had going on when Tony nudged her away from the register. She stepped to the side and glared at him before realising he was saying she could go home now. She surveyed the café and realised that apart from Holly there was only one other customer and that Tony probably wanted to shut up early since it was such a slow, Friday night. She replaced her glare with a grateful half-smile, hurrying to hang up her apron and get her bag, though her joy was short-lived when she realised she and Holly had both awkwardly reached for the door handle at the same time.

She stepped back, gesturing for Holly to open the door and take the lead. Holly smiled in response and pushed the door open, keeping it open for Gail to walk through.

"You really crushed his little heart back there," Holly prodded with a bit of a smirk.

Gail turned to glower at her. Even though she'd felt Holly's prying eyes throughout most of that conversation she couldn't believe she actually had the nerve to tease Gail about it.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to eavesdrop?" she bit back before striding away and onto the pavement.

"I wasn't the one having a private conversation while on the job, not my fault you were the only ones in there talking." Holly quirked an eyebrow awaiting Gail's response.

Gail stared at Holly incredulously. Who was this girl? She frantically scoured her brain for something to retaliate with but was clutching at straws. She tilted her chin upward in attempt to look down at the girl whom she noticed was slightly taller. She glanced over Holly briefly, not able to take in much other than her glasses and an annoyingly bright red backpack that hung from her shoulder.

"Yeah well, nice backpack. Nerd." Even Gail had to admit it was probably not her finest moment as she swung around and strode off in the direction of the station, realising how petulant and immature she'd sounded. Holly's laughter seemed to catch up with her and Gail realised the girl had now fallen into step with her, regarding her with an amused expression.

"Are you actually following me?" Gail spat, growing more and more agitated.

"Nope." Holly replied with a pop, rolling her eyes, "don't be so self-absorbed, this is the way to my work."

Gail was not fully convinced and pressed further, asking where she worked.

"Well it's kind of more of an internship, splitting time between the morgue and 15th division but I'm headed over to the station now to drop some results off. It's a bit of a bummer working nights but at least I'm getting some hands on experience, you know?"

"Awesome." Gail said, devoid of any actually awe, silently praying Holly would talking as she continued to walk toward the station with an irritatingly perky Holly bobbing along beside her.

"Are you going to the station too?" Holly enquired slightly puzzled since there wasn't much else in the direction they were headed.

Gail nodded simply as they rounded the corner and the entrance came into view, evoking a mix of emotions as on the one hand it meant she could get away from Holly but it also meant she would be stuck with her mother for the next few hours.

"So are you actually meeting your mum?"

Gail blinked at Holly, confused before remembering she'd overheard her conversation with Nick.

"Yep, nothing like some quality time with Mother Peck," she admitted with a humourless chuckle, opting to look at her feet instead of Holly's face while she worked out who her mother was.

"Your mum's Super Intendant Peck?" Holly squeaked loudly causing Gail to shush her as they walked through the hallways of 15th division.

"What's it like living with her?" Holly asked in a revised, quieter tone, "is she always so…" Holly trailed off searching for a word that wouldn't offend Gail, "…intense?"

Gail practically snorted at that understatement but her reply to Holly was cut off by Elaine's distinctive, shrill voice piercing through the loud hum of activity that echoed through the open office space.

"Gail, there you are. You're late!" her mother admonished as she made her way towards them.

Gail felt herself deflate slightly and her shoulder's sag before she corrected herself and turned to Holly. "It's exactly what you think it'd be like," she replied, bringing their strange banter to a solemn end, striding off in her mother's direction.


	3. Backhands, wet faces

**Next instalment for you **** Sorry if it's a bit boring, I'm still trying to establish characterisation/main focusses at the moment but I promise the story will start to go somewhere/more RB characters will come into play soon. Thanks for reading, feel free to let me know what you think!**

**XXXX**

Gail groaned as the rising sun squeezed through the gap in her curtains, the streams of light grazing over her now tightly clenched eyelids. She shuffled down under the warmth of the covers trying to escape the intrusion, wriggling around in the new found darkness while stretching out her legs. She guessed it must have been only 7am, but in the relative silence of her bedroom she could still hear the faint sounds of her mother bustling around downstairs. Of course Elaine Peck was awake this early on a Saturday. No point in 'wasting the daylight' as her mother would say whenever Gail tried to negotiate a sleep in.

She waited contemplatively under the covers for a little longer, trying to detect the sounds of her mother's presence which had seemed to disappear. Deciding her mother had probably left for the day by now she slid out of bed and made her descent to the kitchen. She pulled her sweater sleeves down to cover her hands, scrunching the excess fabric in her fists as she sat down at the kitchen island, poking her cereal with her spoon while she waited for it to soften a bit. She hated crunchy cereal. Her trance with the little sugary blobs swirling around in the milk was broken as she heard a door close and watched as her mother entered the kitchen dressed for tennis, her hair styled smartly despite the fact she was about to go spend hours hitting a ball around the court in the sun.

Elaine was humming something vaguely cheerful as she opened the fridge, retrieving a bottle of water before turning to face Gail, tilting her head to the side while she scrutinised her daughter. Her mother reached across the island to run her fingers through a lock of Gail's hair, smiling to herself.

"Your hair looks so much better when you actually take care of it," she mused referring to the hair appointment her mother had dragged her along to last night. For about a year now Gail had opted for a stark platinum blonde over her original shade, and ever since that first day she'd sat in her bathroom for hours bleaching away the ginger colour her mother had passed down to her, Elaine had insisted on interfering. Gail assumed most girls her age would love it if their mother took them along to get their hair dyed professionally whenever their roots needed touching up but Gail knew this gesture was not merely one of kindness. Rather, it was her mother's way of reclaiming control over something Gail had decided to do by herself and for herself, crippling Gail's small attempt at independence.

Gail recoiled slowly from her mother's touch, rolling her eyes at her mother's backhanded compliment and returned her focus to her bowl.

"I'm off to the tennis club, I don't expect to be back any time soon," her mother informed her as she scooped up her keys and turned to face Gail one last time. "Must you always eat that junk for breakfast, Gail?" she asked disparagingly, "there's plenty of fruit in the fridge."

Gail sighed and shrugged half-heartedly, not really up to debating her poor nutritional choices this early in the morning

"You know it's a lovely day outside Gail, you should go for a jog or something more productive than just swanning around here all day," her mother suggested thoughtfully from where should stood at the front door, her eyes giving Gail one last appraisal before stepping out and swinging the door shut behind her.

Gail shoved the bowl away from her and stood up, no longer hungry. She dumped the cereal into the sink, turning on the tap and watching as the milk diluted slowly before escaping down the drain. Now that her mother had ruined any chance at a pleasant start to the day Gail decided that a run actually didn't sound like such a bad idea. Running was one of the few physical activities that Gail didn't detest and found in times like these, where she was tense with frustration that it was quite cathartic. The fact that her mother had suggested she do it slightly dampened her enthusiasm but since it was quite rare that both her and her mother's desires matched, she found herself able to reconcile with this fact.

Gail pulled her laces tight before standing up, looking at her reflection in the vanity mirror while she threw her hair up in a ponytail. She found herself frowning at the vibrancy of her newly dyed hair, hating that her mother had managed to corrupt a part of Gail that she had actually really liked. She tried to rid herself of those toxic thoughts as she slowly warmed herself up, making her way to the park and eventually picking up the pace. Instead, she focussed on the sound of her feet lightly smacking the pavement as she placed one foot after the other and the rhythm of her breathing as she inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth.

**XXXX**

She'd completed several circuits of the park when she came to a stop at a water fountain, bracing her hands on her hips as she regained some composure, attempting to ease the burning sensation creeping into her lungs. She leaned over the fountain and pressed the lever down expectantly when she was met with a strong burst of frigid water to the face, as the water pressure on the fountain completely overshot its requirements. Gail spluttered indignantly and pulled the bottom of her shirt up to wipe her face while a vaguely familiar laugh rang out from behind her. Gail spun around quickly, her shocked expression quickly transforming into a deep scowl when she saw Holly, of all people standing there with a smug grin on her face. Gail could feel Holly's eyes begin to crawl up and down her body and quickly pulled her now drenched shirt back down, stepping back onto the running track and completely ignoring Holly.

She started jogging away from Holly, hoping that she wouldn't, but kind of expecting that she would start following her.

"You know," Holly said matching her pace, "I think the water's supposed to go in your mouth."

"Maybe I wanted water all over my face," Gail replied mater-of-factly, trying her best not to look at Holly.

"Right," she said with fake reassurance, "let's just hope you're a better runner than you are water fountain user."

"Who said you were allowed to run with me?" Gail asked rhetorically, butting in before Holly could give her some witty reply, "and anyway, are you sure you should even be out here running? Aren't all of you _nerds_ asthmatic and riddled with allergies?"

"Aren't you sickly, pale kids supposed to stay out of the sun?" Holly countered.

At this Gail slowed slightly, allowing herself to look at Holly properly. She looked like she'd stepped straight out of some gross women's health magazine in her bright blue tank top and tiny running shorts and unlike Gail, seemed unfazed by the physical exertion with barely a hair out of place. Holly met her eye contact and raised an eyebrow curiously, causing Gail to shake her head slightly before looking back at the track that lie ahead of her, slowly increasing her speed and completely blocking the other girl out.

Surprisingly Holly accepted Gail's unspoken plea for silence and for three more laps of the park they were caught in a subtle competition, each girl continuously edging to run a bit in front of the other. Her determination to stay one step in front of Holly had resulted in Gail pushing her limits a bit and with her legs and lungs screaming, she reluctantly admitted defeat. She pulled up by a set of rails and benches designed for stretching, furiously trying to catch her breath without gasping and wheezing. She propped her foot up on a rail, straightening her leg and stretching it out while Holly approached out of her periphery.

"What makes you so adamant that I'm a nerd?" Holly queried from where she was sprawled out on the bench opposite Gail.

Gail snorted at this, "Have you seen yourself lately? Plus I read your thesis; if that doesn't say nerd then I don't know what does."

Gail's weak insults rolled off Holly's shoulders though, with her deciding to focus on another part of Gail's statement.

"You read that?"

"I tried to. I don't speak nerd though. What are you even studying?" Gail cursed herself silently as the last part slipped out; she didn't want Holly to think she actually cared about her life.

"That's a shame, it was really good," Holly retorted with a smirk that seemed to permanently grace her features, "and I'm in my last year of a Bachelor of Science, going to med school next year."

"I rest my case," Gail said, slightly impressed but not at all surprised. Holly seemed to be near perfect in all aspects of life and not particularly modest about any of it either.

"What about you, off to the police academy?" Holly asked with a degree of genuine interest that confused Gail.

Gail switched legs and looked down, "I'm actually finishing my last year of high school not that it's any of your business," she snarked, expecting Holly's relentless teasing to target her age.

"Really?" Holly's voiced rose an octave causing Gail to shoot her a questioning glance as she finished her last stretch.

"It's just you look older, is all," Holly reassured her, her irritating smirk now replaced with a fond gaze and a slightly more sincere, lopsided smile.

Gail felt uncomfortable now that their mutual ridicule seemed to have come to a close, no longer sure what to say to the girl who she had to admit somewhat intimidated her, not that she would ever let her know that. She twisted the toe of her sneaker in the dirt, eventually looking up to shoot Holly an awkward half-wave before excusing herself.

"Well, uh I'm going to go now," she managed somewhat coherently before walking off in the direction of home.

"Hey, Peck," Holly suddenly called after her causing Gail to pause momentarily and swivel slightly to acknowledge her, "what's your name?"

At that Gail realised they'd never really formally introduced themselves which seemed strange considering how comfortable they felt mocking each other relentlessly.

"Gail." She informed the other girl, turning and continuing her walk home.

"See you around Gail," Holly replied before leaping up off the bench and settling back into a steady pace on the running track.

"Don't count on it nerd," Gail tossed over her shoulder, determined to have the last word though by the way Holly breezed off into the distance she wasn't sure the older girl had actually heard her.

**XXXX**

Gail winced as she stood up from her desk later that night, her muscles complaining loudly from her earlier lack of regard for their wellbeing. She shut her history textbook with a sigh, her brain too overwhelmed to process much more about the Cold War. Fatigued, she clambered into bed and curled her legs up to her chest, her muscles to protesting further which caused her to cast her mind back to the cause of her pain. She was now wholeheartedly regretting her pathetic little attempt to one up Holly, but she had been largely compelled by her desire to not appear weak in front of her. She couldn't decide whether this urge was due to the fact that their previous encounters had all seen Gail in a moment of vulnerability or the more alarming way that Holly seemed to see through her front better than most, clearly not afraid to point out what many would leave unspoken.

Gail rolled onto her back at this realisation, all of a sudden finding her bed uncomfortable and finally allowed her brain to engage with the thing that had been bugging her most after her encounter with Holly. It was Holly's assumption that Gail would be off to the police academy that had really rattled her. Sure, it was a logical enough conclusion considering her lineage but it was also extremely confronting to have a near stranger confirm how set in stone her future was, that there was a very clear path her life would follow. She'd always kind of known her destiny though, and for a large majority of her life she had even aspired to it but it was now that the reality of her future was becoming more tangible that the legacy she was expected to uphold felt like a suffocating vice rather than an anticipated future.

She internally scolded herself for allowing her mind to consider these thoughts just as she was attempting to drift off to sleep. After a few moments more of anxiously fiddling with her comforter while staring blankly at the ceiling, Gail huffed and turned the lamp on, opting to scour the pages of her class text for Literature then dwell on things she'd rather not confront.


	4. Chemistry, the devil

**Hey, wow okay sorry this took me so long! I had to register in uni classes, sort out a timetable, buy books, apply for jobs, got sick and then had my dog punch me in the eye so I couldn't look at a screen! Anyway here it is hopefully it's not awful as well as being late ^.^ Also thanks for the response so far guys, please feel free to keep letting me know what you think!**

**Ps. Now that life has settled I should be more than able to update once a week at least, probably on Wednesdays, I have most of it all planned out so I just have to write it!**

Gail made her presence known as she sat next to Dov in Chemistry, allowing her books to fall to the table with a thud and huffing as she dropped into the hard plastic chair. Dov looked up from where he was hurriedly trying to finish the weekend's homework and smirked at Gail's stony expression.

"I take it you had a great weekend?" Dov taunted lightly, chuckling to himself as Gail turned to glare at him.

"The best." She punctuated, flipping her Chemistry book open to the page she'd spent the last night torturing herself over, waiting for their teacher to show up and subsequently begin the agonising class. She could feel Dov's eye's digging into the side of her head, pleading wordlessly for her to show him the homework answers as shifted in her seat, ignoring his cry for help. Dov persisted through her false obliviousness though and with a dramatic sigh shoved her work in front of him.

"There. Happy now?" she growled at him but the corner of her mouth still twitched upward slightly when he thanked her profusely, promising her his first born child.

Dov stuck his head down, frantically comparing the two pages, scribbling and crossing out most of his answers and replacing them with hers. She and Dov had a strange friendship, born purely out of circumstance in their first year of high school when Dov had been in her PE class and was stung by a bee, his allergies throwing him into anaphylactic shock. Gail had initially hung back on the periphery until it became obvious nobody, not even their clueless teacher knew what to do and the first aid training that had been ingrained into her kicked in. She'd sent somebody to get his gym bag while she demanded their fumbling idiot of a teacher call an ambulance and upon receiving the bag fished out an epipen and stabbed the much needed adrenalin into Dov's thigh. After his airways begun to clear and the paramedics arrived Gail slunk back to where she'd once been standing on the outside, shrugging off the praise of those around her.

The next day Dov who had been fine after the incident, found her in the quad and stood awkwardly in front of her table with a Tupperware container in his hands. Gail had looked up from her sandwich and asked what he wanted and after much stumbling over his words he finally thrust the box of cookies his mum had made for her into her hands along with a mumbled 'thank-you for saving my life'. She'd nodded at him, sceptically nibbling on a cookie before making a small grunt in approval and vaguely gesturing for him to take a seat opposite her. The first lunch they'd shared had been like eating with a wild deer, with Dov seeming cautious and about to flee at any quick movement which had amused Gail thoroughly. Their lunches tentatively became a regular thing, with Gail soon wishing he'd stayed that frightened little deer from their first encounter as she began to learn that Dov liked to talk, a lot. Sometimes, like when he would show her a new addition to his creepy fossilised beetle collection Gail would seriously rethink her friendship with the boy but for the most part she enjoyed Dov's company and it's not like she was particularly spoilt for choice in the friendship department, though that was probably mostly her fault.

As the bell rang, signalling the end of class Gail allowed her head to fall to the desk and groaned.

"None of this makes sense," she practically whimpered to Dov, looking up at him, trying to fish for sympathy.

"Yeah," Dov breathed, looking similarly traumatised by their lesson, "why did we choose chemistry again?"

"Hey," she warned as she gathered her things, "you're the only idiot who _chose_ to do this subject. I'm being _forced_ to do it."

Dov rolled his eyes at Gail's response as they exited the classroom and began walking down the hallway.

"Do you want to come over after school and maybe see if we can work this equilibrium expression stuff out?" Dov asked hopefully.

Gail let out a sigh, "I can't, I have tutoring," she mumbled trying not to let her mind wander to the meeting she was dreading three hours later.

"Since when do you have a tutor?" Dov asked, almost offended at the idea that Gail did not keep him up to date with the inner workings of her life.

"Since my mother decided it would be a great way for her to help out her colleague's son and help me redeem myself after our last test." Gail responded shaking her head, like she hadn't already beaten herself up enough for the 75% result.

"Nobody did well on that test," Dov tried to reason causing Gail to throw him a look suggesting she was very aware of this fact. Dov sighed as he recognised that Gail would probably have told her mother that if it weren't for the fact that excuses did not go down well in the Peck household. He gave her a pat on the arm as they parted ways to go to different classes, wishing her luck.

"Hey, maybe if he's hot you can make all of your mother's dreams comes true, be dating someone with police connections AND be the perfect student."

Gail paused, before allowing herself to smile slightly and let some of the tension she'd been carrying around since their Chemistry class dissipate. For all his dorky idiocy Dov knew the right things to say when it came to her mother, knowing that generally the last thing Gail wanted to do was to dwell on the rigid and unfair hold her mother had on most aspects of her life.

"His name's Weston," Gail said with a slight grimace, knowing the name alone would be enough of an explanation for Dov.

"Well, even pompous douchebags can be hot," Dov levelled over his shoulder as he kept walking to his next class.

**XXXX**

Gail was sure she looked anything but interested as she sat opposite Weston in the university library, propping her head up by resting her chin in her palm and allowing her eyes to drift over the pages of the textbook listlessly. It was taking large amounts of willpower to stop herself from rolling her eyes every few minutes. Even without the English accent which Gail had found out was definitely not authentic he still had an exceedingly smug and irritating way of conducting himself. Worst of all he was quite literally apart from maybe Dov the least qualified person to be helping her with Chemistry. She had found out he was not actually studying Chemistry but rather relying on vague knowledge he still had from his senior year of high school. He had spent the better half of the hour just working the problems out by himself then showing her the answer he'd worked out and asking if she understood.

Gail probably could've squealed in delight when it was finally 4.30 and her time with Weston was up if it weren't for the fact they were in a library and that Gail wanted to get what had almost been the most excruciating hour of her life over with, as fast as possible.

"Don't worry about paying me," Weston informed her with a sincere smile that suggested to Gail that he genuinely thought his attempts at tutoring had been life-altering for her.

"My mother would probably insist…" Gail trailed off, making sure to exclude herself from that statement.

"Well in that case how about you shout me a coffee?" He suggested assertively, crossing his arms as he lent back in his chair, cracking that same smug smile that seemed permanently etched onto his face. "Three dollars is a_ very_ generous tutoring rate, if I don't say so myself."

Gail felt her eyebrows shoot up as she appraised Weston with a look of disbelief that slowly transformed momentarily into one of disgust at his wonderful display of arrogance. She moderated her expression quickly, plastering on a phony saccharine smile that did not meet her eyes, assuring him that while that was a lovely offer she was extremely busy with much more important things. Luckily he seemed to miss the implication that she would rather keep company with her worst enemy, Chemistry rather than spend time with him.

"Well maybe next time then, Gail," he shot back, seemingly unfased by her rejection as he threw her wink before exiting the library.

Gail allowed herself to exhale the breath she felt like she'd been holding that entire hour, trying to unwind the crazy amount of tension and irritation that 'tutoring' session had built up. Weston was a classic example of the snotty, self-assured, assholes her mother always not-so subtly tried to force her into spending time with. It was an obsession Gail had never quite understood about her mother seeing as she was constantly emphasising the importance of Gail being strong, capable and independent yet at the same time trying to set her up with boys. She speculated though, that while this wildly contradicted most of Elaine's ethos it probably was again due to the fact Elaine needed to operate full control over all aspects of Gail's life. Unless she completely forbid Gail to ever interact with members opposite sex, the next best thing she could do was screen and hand pick candidates for her.

Gail rubbed her eyes, forcefully trying to refresh them in the hopes that she could look at this damn question in a new light. While Weston may have completed most of her homework answers, Gail was still none the wiser as to how to do it, plus she wasn't entirely certain he had known how to anyway. Gail released the pressure off her eyes, balling her fists in her sleeves and glaring at the sheet in front of her, wishing that it would disappear, never to bother her again.

"Wow, what did that piece of paper ever do to you?" a voice that had become all too familiar this week asked jokingly, a hint of a chuckle audible.

Gail looked up to see Holly smirking at her from where she stood behind the chair opposite Gail. She was the last person Gail wanted to see right now, the appearance of her self-satisfied smile bringing all of her frustrations to a boiling point and she couldn't restrain the loud, exasperated groan from exploding out of her mouth.

"Why are you here?" Gail demanded, trying her best to keep her voice at an acceptable library level.

"Well that's definitely not the nicest greeting I've ever received," Holly replied hesitantly but still unable to resist throwing in a witty retort, "and anyway this is _my_ university, why are _you_ here?"

At Holly's antagonising though, Gail felt her usual straight-faced armour slip as a lump began to rise in her throat and tears sting threateningly behind her eyes. Gail felt herself face go red at this flood of uncontrollable emotion. Gail was used to bottling things up and presenting a united front and normally liked, actively enjoyed even the verbal sparring she and Holly participated in. But for some reason today, in this moment, the sight of that crooked smirk had reduced her to a near blubbering mess.

Holly's expression softened as she noticed Gail's obvious distress, lowering herself into the seat facing her.

"Hey, I'm just kidding," Holly offered gently, meeting Gail's eyes with what appeared to be genuine concern, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Gail stated angrily, avoiding Holly's gaze and staring down at her textbook instead, trying to convince those stupid little tears to disappear. When she realised Holly wasn't going anywhere after such an unconvincing response she looked back up at the older girl and drew in a shaky breath.

"I'm fine," she assured, this time more softly, her eyes silently pleading Holly to drop it.

"Alright then," Holly replied, smiling slightly though obviously still not believing her.

"Chemistry used to get me down too," she offered in attempt to cheer Gail up, gesturing slightly toward Gail's books.

"Isn't liking Chemistry an essential component to being a nerd?" Gail asked in an attempt to steer the conversation with Holly toward a playing field she was more comfortable with.

Holly raised an eyebrow at Gail's response, surprised at the sudden 180 but glad that she seemed more like herself as Holly was not entirely sure how to comfort somebody who clearly did not want comforting.

"Nah, that one's optional," Holly conceded, "you just have to be good at it."

Gail paused at this, trapping her bottom lip between her teeth tentatively as she debated asking Holly for help on the subject that was currently crippling her.

As if she could read Gail's mind, Holly reached over and spun the textbook to face her where she quickly scanned the page to assess what it was Gail was struggling with.

"You know," Holly began tentatively, not wanting Gail to outright refuse her offer for help, "I could help you with this if it's causing you trouble." She shrugged and handed the book back to Gail to show that the ball was in her court and she wouldn't push it if Gail said no.

Gail toyed with the corner of the page as she looked up at Holly, fighting the urge to decline the offer. She had always been independent when it came to homework, ever since first grade she never asked for assistance and accepting Holly's help was going completely against her doctrine of not relying on anyone but herself. She would just have to suck it up though she figured, since there was absolutely no way she would pass the next test if she didn't understand this and she'd much rather have Holly think she was stupid than deal with the fallout with her mother if she failed a test.

"Sure," Gail accepted non-committedly, "you know if you have nothing better to do."

"Great, don't worry I was taking a break so you're not interrupting anything," Holly replied, smiling toothily as she dragged her chair over next to Gail's, sitting back down and examining what Gail had done so far.

**XXXX**

Gail waited as Holly finished looking over the answers she'd just completed; hoping that she'd finally got it and could rest easy knowing she was not doomed to fail Chemistry any time soon.

"Great!" Holly chirped with same enthusiasm that had prevailed throughout their entire tutoring session as she passed the answers back to Gail, all accompanied with little red ticks.

"You got everything right," she congratulated, "told you it was easy, right?"

Gail snorted at this and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, sure. _Easy_."

"Well it's probably just because I'm such a good tutor," Holly said with a mock air of superiority as Gail finished packing her books up.

"Yeah well it's not like my tutor before you was much competition," Gail informed her in attempt to smother her ego.

"Wait, you had a tutor before me?" Holly asked puzzled, "why didn't they help you with this?"

"Because his idea of 'help' was to work all of the questions out wrong and then expect his knowledge to somehow transfer over the paper to me."

"Hope you didn't pay the guy," Holly said while shaking her head, "that was pretty basic stuff for anyone studying science."

"Fortunately no, I didn't have to pay him as he was just a pawn in my mother's attempt to marry me off to someone with a PhD/law degree/police family… insert desirable profession here." Gail replied, quite clearly failing to stop her bitterness creep in.

"Yikes," Holly replied shooting Gail a sympathetic look as they began to exit the library together.

"Ah, I take it you have normal parents that aren't weirdly invested in finding you a future husband?"

"No," Holly replied, "I mean they used to try and set me up every now and then before they realised why I never managed to find a boyfriend by myself."

Gail slowed her pace slightly, shooting Holly a questioning look.

"I'm gay," Holly supplied helpfully, smiling as Gail's mind finally clicked onto what Holly had been suggesting.

"Oh," Gail said, appearing not at all bothered by this new information, "maybe I should try that one on my mother."

Holly regarded her with amusement as Gail then started shaking her head.

"Actually no she would probably just try and find me a super successful lesbian instead," Gail concluded with a sigh, "I'd be stuck going on dates with nerds like you."

Holly scoffed at this and bumped shoulders with Gail in mock outrage.

"You would be lucky to go on a date with me, Peck." Holly warned her with in a serious tone, though her face betrayed her attempt to seem offended.

"Too bad I'll never find out."

Before Holly could respond though, Gail's bus pulled up at the stop in front of the library causing Gail to hike her bag strap up on her shoulder as she began to walk away from Holly in quick long strides.

"See you later nerd," Gail she said over her shoulder as she hurried not to miss her bus.

As she approached the door though and realised the bus was in no hurry to leave she turned to face Holly, not feeling quite right to leave their conversation there.

"Thanks for the help," Gail offered softly, barely audible over the bus's engine as she looked down at her shoes and fiddled with her sleeve.

Holly smiled back at her realising this was probably one of the only genuine things to come out of Gail's mouth in the short time she'd known her.

"Anytime," she reassured Gail casually, trying not to make Gail feel more awkward than she already looked. She gave Gail a final half wave from where her hand was still clutching her backpack strap before walking away ensuring that Gail didn't have to think of any more normal farewell conventions from where she stood looking quite unsure of herself.

As the other girl walked away Gail blushed upon realising she'd just been standing there in front of the bus's open door for longer than necessary, turning around immediately and scampering onto the bus, careful to avoid eye contact with the bus driver who had just been waiting for her to get on. She sat back in her seat and was taken aback by how much lighter she felt compared to earlier that afternoon. All of the pressure and expectations had been weighing her down recently, settling deep in the pit of her stomach, the unshakeable heaviness there to remind her every time she struggled to do something the way she was supposed to. Though this new lightness should probably be pleasant for Gail, the absence of the familiar, heavy weight made her feel empty, emptiness she had no idea what to do with.


	5. Sinking stones

**Okay well it's not a Wednesday but the weather was horrible (like snowing horrible which for where I live in Australia is crazy) and was the perfect excuse to waste a day on this. Thanks for the follows and the reviews, really encourages me to write more :)**

Gail had the slightest swing in her step as she entered her last session Chemistry class, spotting Dov at their usual table and plonking down beside him. He turned to look at her, opening his mouth most likely to complain about the subject when he noticed Gail's somewhat carefree expression, the trace of a smile ghosting her lips.

"Can you stop looking so happy," Dov asked seriously with a frown, "we're in Chemistry."

Gail rolled her eyes at Dov's melodramatics even though she probably would've shot him down too if he'd walked into class with a look other than dread on his face.

"But Dov, today is such a great day," she reasoned with him, trying her best to seem genuine.

"The sun is shining, I had bacon on my sandwich for lunch," she paused for effect, taking in Dov's bewildered expression, "_and _I understand yesterday's work!"

Dov frowned at her, simultaneously confused by Gail being happy about Chemistry and Gail apparently understanding Chemistry.

"So this Weston guy was your saviour, then?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"First of all, that is a disgusting notion you're suggesting," she said, stomping out any room for misinterpreting her extreme dislike for Weston, "and secondly I think my knowledge actually regressed in his presence."

Again Dov was confused if not slightly exasperated that he still had no idea why Gail had all of a sudden figured out the work that only 24 hours ago had them both at the verge of a breakdown.

"So what, did you have a little one-on-one with Mr. Carver or something?" Dov asked suggestively as he let his eyes travel to where their teacher stood at the front of the class, bursting into laughter when Gail punched him in the shoulder, hard.

"No. You're disgusting." Gail shot back, training her eyes to the front of the class and ignoring her friend who was still smiling to himself at his dumb little joke.

"But seriously," He offered her, leaning toward her to whisper as their teacher began to start the lesson, "tell me, I want to know."

While part of Gail wanted to pretend she couldn't hear him and let him suffer, she knew his insistence to know was probably due to the fact he still had no idea what he was doing, and that was something she could relate to. They were supposed to have each other's backs when it came to this god-awful subject, helping one another when they could.

"I just bumped into some girl I knew at the university library," she explained in a hushed tone, "she's doing a Bachelor of Science or whatever and offered to explain it."

Just when she thought he would finally drop it and let her go back to listening to what their teacher was explaining on the board, Dov opened his mouth again.

"How do you know a girl from the university?" He asked, surprise evident in his tone. Her best friend was well aware that Gail was not exactly the social type and definitely not in the habit of making new friends.

Gail turned her head fractionally toward him, beginning to form an answer when she realised she really wasn't sure what to say. Somehow, 'I spilt a bucket of coffee in her lap and she's been stalking me ever since', didn't seem suitable and would probably only fill Dov with more questions rather than shutting him up. So instead she hushed him and turned back to face their teacher who was now prattling along, making it clear that their conversation was over.

**XXXX**

Gail sighed and flopped back onto her bed somewhat dramatically when she got home. Now that she'd eaten and put her books away she found herself extremely unsure of what to do with herself. The same feeling of weightlessness that made its appearance yesterday was still persisting; she had no urgent homework or assignments, she no longer felt like she was drowning when it came to Chemistry, her room was spotless and her parents probably wouldn't be home until after she'd gone to sleep. She had literally nothing to worry about. So why was it that instead of finding some solace in this new found levity that Gail's mind was still churning over every feature of her life, scouring it for something that she should be doing?

Gail had always scoffed at Dov when he teased her for being uptight, insisting he was confusing the term with motivated, driven; disciplined even. But maybe he was right, she thought as she bounced her legs up and down from where they were hanging off the end of the bed. She couldn't even force herself to take an afternoon nap for god's sake.

She threw herself back out of bed, obviously not in any mental state to relax and unwind and began pacing agitatedly back and forth in front of her window. She craved for that heavy weight to return, to bring her down and cement her back where she felt comfortable, for in its absence she could feel an uncontrollable anxiety bubbling within her. She wasn't sure if either option was particularly any better than the other, but at least the heaviness was something she was familiar with. It felt safe for her. Gail stopped pacing abruptly, deciding she needed to get out of the house and do something before she made herself sick. She changed quickly and jammed her feet into her running shoes, certain that at the very least a run would give her something else to think about. Maybe Holly would even be there.

Gail frowned at herself in the mirror at this last thought, finishing sweeping her platinum blonde hair into a ponytail. Just because Holly was at the park one time didn't mean she'd see her again, although Holly did have a funny way of showing up where ever Gail went. Anyway, going on a run with Holly would probably do nothing to improve her mood right now. Holly was practically the epitome of carefree and ease, qualities that Gail was perhaps secretly a bit envious of but at the same time irrationally irritated by. Since the purpose of her run was to block everything out though, she shook these thoughts off as she strode out onto the pavement, making her way toward the park at a steady yet determined pace.

Gail wasn't even sure how many laps she'd made of the park by the time she stopped, blood roaring loudly in her ears. As she pushed through the burning and constricting of her lungs she noted it was starting to get dark so she must've been here for a while. All of a sudden she felt a bit light headed and dropped down into a bench sitting alongside the running track. She berated herself internally for obviously pushing her limits, knowing she would pay for it later as she could already feel a familiar burn seeping into her legs. A burn which would remind her of her carelessness tomorrow with every step she took. Her frustration with herself was further compounded when again, she found herself glancing in the direction where she'd bumped into Holly for what seemed like the hundredth time that afternoon. Obviously Holly had never made an appearance today and even though Gail had not expected her to do so she still felt a little… disappointed?

This train of thought was interrupted as she shivered violently, her sudden loss of movement making her more vulnerable to the chilly air which was beginning to settle as the sun fell. She sighed and headed back toward home at a much slower pace than when she had started, relieved that even if the run had been unsuccessful in clearing her head that she would at least be too exhausted for her mind to keep running over time for the rest of the night.

**XXXX**

Frustrated at her lack of progress, Gail shoved her books out of the way, tilting her head back and bringing a hand up to work a crick out of her neck. She stretched her legs out from where she'd been sitting cross legged on the bed, wincing when her legs that were still tender from the day before screamed in protest. Of course just when she had started to feel confident about the Chemistry test on Friday her teacher had decided to throw in a new concept at the last minute. A concept that was making very little sense to Gail at the moment.

"Hey sis," a deep voice from her doorway greeted, her brother stepping into her room and flopping down onto her bed, sending her books sliding off the edge.

"Hi Steve," Gail greeted matter-of-factly.

"Wait you are Steve, right?" she asked trying her best to sound unsure, "I mean you kind of look like the guy who used to live here. Haven't seen him in a while though so I can't remember exactly…"

"Here I was thinking you were enjoying my absence," he replied teasingly, laughing when Gail reached out and kicked him with her foot.

"I was. I forgot how annoying you are," she tossed back at him, crossing her arms.

"So how's the police life treating you big brother?" she asked, enquiring about his recent promotion from rookie which had seen him engulf himself even more in his work.

"It's awesome," he answered with a lovesick expression on his face causing Gail to snort with derision.

"Well it's good to know you're entire life up until now has not been a giant waste of time," she remarked bitterly.

Steve rolled his eyes at her and shoved her socked foot away from where it had come to rest beside him after she'd kicked him. He reached over the side of the bed and scooped up the books he had knocked off a few minutes prior.

"And why exactly are you wasting your time on Chemistry?" Steve asked waving her textbook around.

Gail narrowed her eyes at him, snatching the textbook out of his hands.

"I mean, it's not like you need it to get into the police force," he informed her with a shrug.

Gail felt a flash of anger ripple through her, not necessarily directed toward her well-meaning but clueless brother but rather at the subtext surrounding the notion that joining the police force was inevitable for her.

"Steve, can you just go?" she asked sharply, frowning as she gathered all of her notes back into an orderly pile after he'd disrupted them.

"Nice to see you too, sis," he replied sarcastically as he made his way to the door, though she could tell by his face that he was not too put out by her less than warm reception.

Gail sighed as the door shut behind her brother, feeling a little bad at lashing out at him but still irked that he seemed to have no idea what it was like for Gail. It was easy for him to say she was wasting her time on Chemistry. Steve had always been the golden child, already innately programmed to excel at what their parents had planned for them. He'd been great at sport and public speaking; he could consume facts and solve mathematic equations with ease. He never had to choose a subject like Chemistry because he already had an impressive high school resume in his mother's eyes while doing the things he enjoyed. Gail however, had always struggled with maths and team sports and the mere thought of public speaking made her stomach drop. Giver her an essay to write, a novel to deconstruct or a landscape to sketch and she was in her element. None of these things were relevant to her predetermined line of work though, nor seemed like worthwhile contributions to her life after school, all things which her mother made quite clear throughout her school life.

So having her brother waltz in at a moment of pre-test crisis, in love with his job and pointing out the pointlessness of the subject she had spent hours working at, was a real kick in the gut. A reaffirmation that this was what her life was going to be like. Slogging her heart out over something that didn't mean anything to her, so that what? Her mother would be happy? Be proud of her? It was with these musings that Gail felt that familiar sinking feeling wash over her, of that heavy burden burrowing its way down and making itself at home. Initially she felt at peace, being reacquainted with what she had become so accustomed too, her mind calming somewhat as if this weight was feeding some perverse addiction she had.

Deciding there was no use stewing over the chemistry test anymore she piled her things up on her desk and slithered her way back to bed, nestling herself under the covers and preparing for sleep. As she lay there though she was taken aback by how suffocating the thought of her upcoming failure was becoming. The pressure that was usually a comfortable vice for her was now much more overwhelming after her few days of reprieve from it. As she lay there in the dark stillness of her room she thought back to how Holly had helped her in the library on Monday, wishing that by some small miracle she would run into her again before the test on Friday. On broaching the subject of Holly she was struck with the odd thought that in a way she'd be letting Holly down if she didn't do well, a thought that made her squint into the darkness in confusion. She had grown accustomed to disappointing her mother, disappointing herself as well, but for some reason the idea of letting Holly, a person who should have no real influence on her life down was troubling her.

A few more minutes passed before she realised sleep would not be visiting her anytime soon and so she snatched her phone up from where it was charging on her nightstand. It was only 10.30p.m. she realised as she unlocked her phone, holding her thumb poised over the contact she was hoping would answer the call she was contemplating making. Pushing through the hesitation she pressed down on the name and selected 'call', holding the phone up warily up to her ear, waiting for an excuse to hang up before the other person answered.

"Hello?" the friendly, automatically comforting voice on the other end of the phone answered.

"Hey, Ollie," Gail greeted, hoping he was still at work.

"Hey kiddo, what's the occasion?" he asked jovially, his tone shifting down a few notches as he added, "you're not in trouble are you? I'm not your one and only phone call from some jail cell, am I?"

Gail chuckled at this, as though she would be stupid enough to be caught doing something illegal with a mother like hers. Although now that he had brought it up, Oliver probably would be the first person she'd call in such a situation apart from maybe Steve. It was probably a bit odd that Gail considered Oliver; a 30-something, prematurely balding man one of her closest friends but in the years when Gail had been younger and her mother still Staff Sergeant at 15th, she'd spent many an afternoon hanging around the station with him. He was more of a father-figure than friend, perhaps a 'cool uncle' would even be more appropriate but she held a deep trust and fondness for the man who had regularly as a rookie risked reprimands from his T.O to hang out with her when he had other things to do. Asking how her days at school were, helping her with homework and trying to keep her chin up whenever her mother would dismiss her. She didn't see him as much anymore since her mother no longer actually worked at 15th (although still liked to check in more often than necessary) but she still knew he would have her back, hence why she was making this phone call.

"No, not quite," she replied, assuaging his curiosity slightly, "although I do need to ask a favour…"

**XXXX**

She stared blankly at her screen, the empty textbox in the new message she was composing taunting her as she kept typing and then erasing multiple versions of the same message which never seemed quite right. Oliver had been a bit reluctant at first when Gail had asked him to track down Holly's number, since it wasn't technically in relation to actual police work. After explaining Holly was interning at the morgue and was probably in the employment records at 15 he relented however, somehow the fact that she worked there making the invasion of privacy slightly less unethical.

This is why she was now stuck in a silent battle with her phone, unsure of what exactly to say. She sighed, biting the bullet and after a quick flurry of thumbs she hit send.

**Gail: Hey nerd.**

Gail realised she probably should have put a bit of context along with the fond insult that she decided to use as a greeting. Before she could overthink it much more her phoned buzzed in her hand.

_Holly: You know this whole stalking thing is getting a bit out of hand…_

She smiled at this, glad that Holly realised it was her and didn't seemed too weirded out by the unexpected contact.

**Gail: Fairly sure you started it. I'm just getting into the spirit of it.**

_Holly: Well as nice as it is to have the stalking reciprocated is there a particular reason why you're texting me at 11 on a Wednesday night?_

_Holly: And though I'm not sure I really want to know, how did you get my number?_

**Gail: So you admit you started the stalking?**

_Holly: You're avoiding the question._

Gail sighed realising that even through text she felt uncomfortable deviating from the safety of their typical banter routine.

**Gail: Fiiiine. I need more help with chemistry and you're the only nerd I know who isn't completely unbearable.**

**Gail: And no, you probably don't want to know how I got your number.**

Gail waited nervously as there was a pause in the back and forth stream of dialogue, hoping that despite her inability to ask for help nicely that Holly would still say yes.

_Holly: That's reassuring. And I don't know Gail… my time is pretty precious._

She frowned at this, realising that Holly was probably telling the truth. She had the internship, lectures and studying and no doubt other things to do in her life. It was a bit self-centred really to expect Holly to drop everything to help some obnoxious girl she barely knew and began to compose a reply telling Holly not to worry about it when her phone cut her off.

_Holly: Meet me at the café tomorrow at 4?_

Gail raised her eyebrows in surprise, not really expecting such a decisive reply after Holly's initial response but she still contemplated retracting her plea for help.

**Gail: You sure?**

_Holly: Yup, I can only stay till 5 though._

She was still not fully convinced Holly wasn't just doing this out of politeness; her texting style was so different to Holly's usual demeanour that Gail was unsure of how to interpret her replies.

**Gail: You know I took you as the annoying type to use lots emoticons and stuff.**

Woops. She hadn't meant to actually write that out she realised, panicking slightly before following the text up quickly with a confirmation that would hopefully end the conversation.

**Gail: See you tomorrow.**

_Holly: Oh, so now you think you know my 'type'? ;)_

_Holly: Goodnight Gail! :D sweet dreams xoxo 3 !_

Gail felt her cheeks flush at Holly's obvious attempt to make fun of her little slip up but unable to let Holly have the last word she sent a final text, more for her own satisfaction than anything else before locking her phone and rolling over, hoping she could now slip off to sleep.

**Gail: Good night. Loser.**

**Poor Gail, has no idea how to just be happy and content with herself :( **

**Okay so this was pretty angsty and Gail might seem a bit OOC here but I feel like at this age Gail is not quite as closed-off and distanced from those around her. Gail's always seemed really sensitive deep down and I think at this stage while her exterior might be a little prickly that she cares a lot more about what other people think of her/a lot more unsure of herself than when we first met her in the show. I also think growing up in such a toxic and emotionally manipulative environment that Gail probably would have a lot going on in her head, a lot of self-doubt and loathing which I think as she grew up she replaced with bitchiness/arrogance to stop herself from getting hurt so much but idk… Anyway, next chapter = more Holly/Gail and less angst!**


	6. Invitations, Inebriation

**This chapter is a bit awkward because I was planning on including the party scene but then it got a bit too long and I wanted to give you guys something. Second part will be up by the weekend to make up for the pointlessness! Again thanks for all the feedback and follows, keep it coming ;)**

Gail's leg was bouncing up and down frantically under the table as she slowly tore the paper insulation off of her take away cup, making a small mess on the otherwise empty table. She'd gotten to the café a bit earlier than intended and felt increasingly awkward as she waited for Holly to show up, Tony now throwing her weird looks every now and then. She didn't think she'd actually come in here as a customer since she started working for Tony and felt on edge being on the other side of the counter. Every time the bell chimed Gail could feel herself tense up, thinking she'd have to serve another customer or whenever she'd overhear an order made at the counter she'd run over in her head the steps she'd take to make it.

She huffed and checked the time. Holly was only a few minutes late but Gail was finding herself increasingly irritated, checking her phone every 10 seconds impatiently. Her frustration wasn't really directed at Holly though; she was doing this as a complete act of kindness and really, she could be as late as she wanted to be. Gail was more bothered by her surroundings and her current unfamiliar position within them as well as the uncomfortable realisation lurking in the back of her mind that Tony had only offered her one shift this week instead of her usual three. Even though he had told her it was just because they were having a slow week and he knew she had a test to study for, she couldn't help but be sceptical and felt she'd probably done something to piss him off.

The bell above the door chimed again and Gail whipped her eyes up to glare at the offensive object, wondering why Tony insisted on inflicting the annoying sound on everyone in the café, it's not like it was particularly easy to miss somebody walking into the small space. She quickly readjust her glare when she noticed the bell was marking Holly's entry, smiling slightly as Holly made her way over to the table while raking her fingers through her windblown hair.

"Hey Gail," she greeted as she sidled up to the table, "having fun with all your friends?" Holly asked as she sat down, gesturing to the large booth Gail had reserved for the two of them that was otherwise empty.

Instead of hitting her back with an equally snarky remark Gail just found herself laughing timidly in response as she leant down to grab her chemistry stuff out of her bag.

"How would you even know what fun looks like?" Gail stirred as she swept her little pile of shredded paper to one side and opened her textbook.

"Trust me Gail," Holly said with a confident grin, leaning in ever so slightly, "I know how to have fun."

Gail held Holly's slightly intense gaze, her eyes glimmering with a playfulness that made Gail wonder what exactly the older girl had been trying to insinuate. Realising she'd been staring blankly at Holly in complete silence she looked down quickly, clearing her throat and suggested they move along to the real reason they were there. Holly smirked at the way Gail stumbled over her words but lay the teasing to rest, switching over to tutor mode as she looked over the work Gail had been doing.

Gail sat in silence watching Holly flick over the textbook pages and scan the worksheet Gail had tried filling out last night. She looked back up, her eyes slowly trailing off to where Gail's now empty coffee cup sat on the table before settling her focus back on Gail's face, flashing the blonde a pleading look.

"Do you think you could do me a huge favour and get me a coffee?" she asked hopefully, perhaps even batting her eyelashes a bit. At the mention of coffee Gail's brain flipped back to her tutoring session with Weston and how he had not so subtly suggested she do the same thing, her eyes narrowing in annoyance at the memory.

Holly bit her bottom lip hesitantly, mistaking Gail's facial expression as being directed at her request, causing her to then try and justify herself.

"I mean only if you want to, I was just going to write out some equations for you to figure out, you know so I can see where it is you're going wrong," she explained, "thought you might just get a bit bored watching me set it up."

Gail found this new, apologetic version of Holly odd; a complete departure from her usual brash and confident self, causing Gail to hurry to placate Holly.

"No, that's fine," she breathed standing up, "a coffee is the least I owe you for coming out and helping me." She tried her best to smile reassuringly at Holly but she was sure it probably came out strained and unconvincing since she was apparently incapable of conducting herself like a normal human being.

Gail fiddled with the machine waiting for it to heat up while she grabbed a cup, assuming Holly would want the same thing she ordered last time, which oddly Gail still remembered. She peered over at where Holly was sitting hunched over a piece of paper, her brow furrowed in concentration as she set up the equations for Gail, her free hand reaching up to readjust her glasses every now and then. Her trance was interrupted as the machine alerted her that the coffee was ready, placing the cup under the open valve which slowly allowed the rich brown liquid to dribble out. She tilted the cup toward her, swirling it steadily as she poured the steamed milk in, the coffee's vibrancy slowly fading out to a creamy off-white colour. Satisfied with her creation she slapped on a lid, smiling to herself knowingly as she double checked it was secure and turned to return to her table only to run into Tony who had been standing behind her.

"Sorry for helping myself," she offered sheepishly, "I'll pay for it."

Tony cracked her a smile and shook his head, "don't worry," he whispered conspiratorially, "I won't tell the boss you snuck in a free coffee for your friend."

She rolled her eyes at his attempt at a joke since you know, he _was_ the boss and thanked him quietly before heading back over to where Holly was sitting, finished with what she'd been doing.

Holly thanked her profusely, sighing with content as she took a long sip from the cup, Gail slightly worried she would burn her insides since she'd just made the beverage but Holly didn't seem too fazed, placing the cup back down and turning her attention to Gail's work.

Forty-five minutes later and Gail's brain was a little worse for wear although at least now she was a bit more confident she knew what she was doing. Either way, the test was tomorrow and there wasn't much she could do anymore. She sighed as she started putting her books back into her bag, looking up to see Holly regarding her with a confused expression.

"What?" Gail queried curiously, tempted to reach up and touch her face in case there was something on it.

"Nothing, it's none of my business," Holly said shaking her head but when Gail prompted her to just say whatever was on her mind, she relented.

"It's just why are you doing chemistry? You don't seem to particularly enjoy it and I don't assume you want to study science after school…" Holly shrugged looking at Gail with pure curiosity rather than judgement.

Gail frowned at this, not sure if she felt completely comfortable sharing her mummy-issues with a stranger. Well, she corrected herself – Holly wasn't really a stranger, she was… well she didn't know what Holly was but she was definitely not a stranger to Gail anymore.

"My mother wanted to me to do 'serious' subjects… whatever that means. She just doesn't see the point in humanities and arts and stuff. They're just not really relevant for what she wants me to do."

"Are they relevant for what _you_ want to do?" Holly asked genuinely, taking Gail by surprise at her interest in Gail's life.

"I don't know." She answered honestly. She didn't really know what she wanted to do because she had never really considered any other options.

Holly felt her heart break a little for the girl in front of her, Gail's uncertainty reminding her of herself at that age; before she stopped trying to please everyone around her and just do what was right for her. Seeing that her little interrogation had caused a troubled expression to cloud Gail's face, Holly decided to change the subject as she stood up and grabbed her bag.

"Hey," she began, "if you're not doing anything tomorrow night you should come to this party my friend from university is throwing."

Gail squirmed uncomfortably at the suggestion, not really sure why Holly wanted to hang out with her outside of their little arrangement.

"I don't know…" Gail warned, though she was quickly cut off by Holly's reassurance.

"It won't be weird if you come. It's just a huge free house sort of thing while his parents are out of town and I don't know… you probably deserve a break after all this studying."

Despite her little speech trying to convince her otherwise, Gail still though it would be weird if she went but Holly looked too hopeful for Gail to reject the offer outright.

"Maybe. I'll see how I feel tomorrow," Gail replied, trying her best to seem convincing.

"Cool," Holly said as she smiled to herself faintly, "I've got to go now, morgue duty calls but, uh, good luck tomorrow. I'm sure you'll do great."

With that Holly made her way to the exit, throwing one last grin at Gail over her shoulder as she opened the door, before beginning to walk in the direction of 15th division.

**XXXX**

At the sound of the final bell for the day Gail let out a violent sigh and slammed down her pen as their teacher told the class to stop writing. She stretched out her hand which had started cramping during her race to finish the test in its final minutes. As the adrenalin started to wear off and her brain stopped screaming every bit of information she could remember at her, Gail smiled at herself as she was convinced she'd actually done quite well. And if she hadn't, well it's not like she could have tried any harder; although her mother would probably disagree with Gail on this point.

She stretched as she stood up and grabbed her stuff, turning to Dov hoping that he was also in relatively high spirits after the test. She frowned when she saw a distinct look of a disappointment washing over Dov's face as he zipped his backpack up angrily. Gail neutralised her demeanour at this sight, not wanting to make Dov feel any worse.

"Well that was horrible," he muttered as they both navigated their way out of the classroom and toward the school's exit.

"Yeah it was pretty hard," Gail replied vaguely, which was not technically a lie. It had, in an objective sense been hard but after the studying she did that week and Holly's invaluable guidance she hadn't really struggled with the questions. Not that Dov needed to know that.

Just as her thoughts had turned to Holly, Gail felt her phone vibrate in her pocket causing her to pull it out and unlock the screen in confusion. The only person who ever really texted her was walking right beside her, sulking in his post-test stupor.

_Holly: How'd it go? You going to come tonight?_

Before Gail could react to the first text another one popped up from Holly, though this one was purely a nonsensical stream of emojis. Gail chuckled and rolled her eyes at Holly's reference to Gail's admission a few nights ago.

"… and I just want to go and get really drunk tonight, forget that school even exists" Dov whined, interrupting her thoughts as she realised he was at the tail end of a long rant she had not been listening to.

At this mention of getting completely wasted though, Gail's eyes drifted back to her phone and she weighed up her options. Maybe going to the party wouldn't be too weird if she had a little backup.

"Well if you want, my friend invited me to some dumb uni party tonight," she said non-chalantly, scrunching her face up slightly at the way she stumbled over the word 'friend'.

Dov looked at her like she'd told him something completely ludicrous and Gail had to try her best not to roll her eyes at him. Was it really _that_ hard to believe that Gail was capable of making new friends that enjoyed her company?

"So, are you going to go?" Dov demanded, stopping in his tracks when Gail just shrugged at him.

"Gail. You are going to that party and you are bringing me with you. And we're going to get really drunk," he explained, almost like a mantra.

"Alright, calm down," she told him, not overly impressed with his dramatics, "I'll find out the address but meet at my house at eight and we can go together?"

Upon receiving his confirmation she jerked her head in the direction of home as a way of explaining they were parting ways, throwing him a half-hearted wave as she ventured off.

Once she got home Gail pulled out her phone as for some reason she hadn't felt able to respond to Holly's text until she was alone in her room. She shot off a reply quickly, trying not to sound too eager but still accepting of Holly's invitation.

**Gail: Where's the house?**

_Holly: The Crescent, near Rosedale station. Is that your way of saying yes?_

**Gail: Why didn't you tell me earlier this was a rich kid party? And yes nerd, I'll come. Can I bring somebody?**

_Holly: Sure. See you tonight._

Gail wasn't quite sure why but Holly's last reply frustrated her to no end. She had no idea what Holly meant by those words. They seemed abrupt, maybe even a bit hostile and every time Gail tried to picture Holly saying those words they felt so out of place. She figured she was probably reading into it all a bit much and in an attempt to calm down and waste some time until she had go she decided to run herself a bath, preparing to spend the next three hours languidly getting ready.

**XXXX**

She tugged down at the bottom of her top as a sort of self-consciously while she waited with Dov for the bus that would take them close to the party. She combed her finger through her hair lightly, working out any small tangle that may have occurred on her short walk to the stop. She'd spent almost an hour deliberating over her outfit, eventually settling on a pair of tight, black high-waisted jeans and her usual black combat boots which she had by now convinced herself went with every outfit. She had then paired those with a slightly cropped, thin black sweater with white stripes running horizontally across her abdomen. She was glad she'd grabbed a windbreaker on her way out of the door though, as the temperature had plummeted rapidly after what had been a mild, enjoyable day.

The bus was only a few minutes away so the two of them hastened to finish off their respective bottle of beer, slowly draining the six-pack that Dov had picked up on the way to get things started. Gail was quite aware she was breaking more than a couple of laws right now but she was also quite confident that any cop they could possibly run into in this area would be somebody Gail would know and she very much doubted any of them would have the nerve to do something about it. As the bus rounded the corner she grabbed Dov's empty bottles along with her own, throwing them in a bin with a loud clatter that attracted a few unimpressed looks from surrounding patrons. She grinned sheepishly, giggling with Dov as they got on and made their way to the very back so that they could finish the last two away from prying eyes.

"So this girl, Holly was it?" Dov asked, squinting slightly, "why exactly did she invite us again?"

"She invited me, Dov. Not us," she corrected him, which earned her an elbow to the rib, "and I dunno… I served her in café one day and then just kept bumping into her and she helped me with chemistry. I saw her on Thursday and I think she just thought I could use a break."

Gail shrugged and fiddled with the map on her phone, making sure she was keeping a track of where they were. She felt reluctant to tell Dov about Holly, she'd kind of liked that nobody knew about Holly until now, not that she was really understood why.

She finished her last bottle, humming in contentment as she began to feel warm, the bus's interior slightly blurry as she bent down quickly to place her now empty bottle underneath the seat. An action she soon regretted as they turned a corner causing the bottle to clatter to the ground and noisily roll to the other side of the bus, several heads glancing in her general direction in annoyance.

"Woops," she muttered to herself, checking her phone again.

She jumped in alarm as she realised they were about to miss the stop, yanking down on the overhead chain to signal their desire to get off. A few seconds later the bus pulled over, Gail lurching a bit as she made her way down the aisle, thanking the bus driver as she dismounted albeit with guilt lacing her tone as the driver gave her a knowing look.

They ambled down the street for a few more minutes until Gail s spotted the number on the mailbox she'd been looking for. She hushed Dov mid-teasing her for not being able to disembark the bus gracefully, the steady buzz coursing through her veins stopping her from hitting him for added emphasis.

"We're here loser," Gail remarked quietly, all of a sudden grateful for her pre-emptive drinking as she began to feel anxious about her upcoming foray into socialising with no doubt plenty of meaningless small talk.

Dov let out an impressed, drawn out whistle as he appraised the large stately home before them.

"Rich kid better be supplying drinks," Dov whispered to her sceptically as they finished making their way up the path and reached the front door, the generic thump of some song Gail would probably recognise if she listened to the radio pulsing through the walls of the house.

"Oh and by the way," he added as he reached up to ring the doorbell, "no leaving me all on my lonesome because some guy wants to take you home."

Gail blushed at his obvious mention of the time she had gone home with Nick without telling Dov and he'd been grumpy with her for a week.

He needn't worry she thought as they realised the door was unlocked and just headed inside, she had absolutely no plans on going home with somebody tonight; the last thing she wanted or needed in her life was more drama.

**Filler just doing some filling, stay tuned!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So when I said this would be done by the weekend I actually meant done by Monday haha. Hope you enjoy and as always feel free to let me know what you think! **

**XXXX**

Gail's boots squeaked awkwardly along the polished marble floor in the hallway, muffled only by the sound of animated conversation and the thrumming of bass echoing throughout the house's large shell. She felt herself shrink inward as an unfamiliar boy flung his arms outward in the act of gesturing to his conversation partner, narrowly missing Gail's face in the midst of the broad movement. As she recoiled into Dov's side it occurred to her that maybe a party wasn't the best way for her to unwind. In fact, Gail really was not much of a party person since it more or less revolved around the novelty of interacting with people she barely knew; an activity Gail neither enjoyed nor was particularly good at. At parties she generally just stuck with the people she came with or got caught up in barbaric drinking games that she had a tendency of winning, then proceed to be mean to all of the hopeful boys that would approach her afterwards.

Gail didn't want to do that tonight, though. The mock bravado she normally wore was slowly slipping under her intoxicated state and the further she ventured into the house the more she wanted to slowly slip back in the direction she came. She cast a faint yet perceptive glance around the open plan living space the hallway opened up to, trying to gage Holly's whereabouts amongst a steady throng of strangers laughing, dancing and talking in the dimly lit room. As she sought out Holly, she told herself it was just to say hi before leaving. After all it would be rude to say she would come and never show up but her search appeared to be fruitless as she failed to locate Holly anywhere.

She was brought out of her thoughts as she and Dov entered the kitchen toward the back of the house, just as large and luxuriously decorated as the rest of the rooms. The house made Gail a little nervous to be honest, while her house was nowhere near as nice as this she could only imagine what her mother would do if she threw a party like this while she was gone. How she would rattle on about the mahogany floorboards and the marble countertops. Not that Elaine was really around enough to actually appreciate those superficial aspects of their house.

"Ah, rich kid came through with the drinks," Dov said smirking as he made his way to several large buckets full of ice sitting on the countertop, helping himself to a few bottles.

"You know, somehow I don't think his name is Rich Kid," Gail pointed out, accepting one of the ice cold bottles from Dov who just shrugged in response.

"His name's Derek, actually," a voice chirped from behind them causing them both to swing around.

A girl around their age sat on the island bench swinging her feet back and forth, smiling brightly… very brightly at the two of them.

"I'm Chloe," she offered as she smoothly slid off the bench and extended her hand.

"Dov," he replied shaking her hand and allowing it to linger slightly as he smiled down at the petit brunette.

Gail had to resist rolling her eyes as she recognised the infatuated look that was currently gracing Dov's face, a clear indicator that he was quite a fan of Chloe. Gail of course was not quite as thrilled to meet the other girl and simply nodded her head in acknowledgement, offering her name politely.

"Super! So are you guys enjoying yourselves?" she enquired, cocking her head to the side as she prepared to listen to their responses intently.

Gail's eyes followed Dov's movements as he crossed his arms and leant against the bench and shrugged, trying to exude an air of collected confidence she knew he only possessed when running on the courage of liquid luck.

"Yeah you know, pretty well so far," he said casually, taking a large sip from his bottle.

Gail chuckled into her own drink, looking away from the pathetic display as she didn't want to embarrass Dov in front of the other girl. She wasn't _that_ horrible.

"Good," Chloe said sighing violently before launching into a tirade about how she'd spent so long setting things up and really wanted everyone to have a good time.

"Wait, is this your party?" Dov asked, confused.

While Gail would have probably been reduced to a blushing mess upon having a stranger cut her off mid-rant, Chloe seemed to bounce back flawlessly, barely blinking before answering Dov.

"Oh no, my stepbrother Derek wanted to throw a party while our parents were out of town and well you know what boys are like, am I right?" she paused, gesturing at Gail dramatically like she should know what Chloe was talking about, "and I knew he'd put no thought or effort into it and so I figured if he's going to have this party regardless of what I say I may as well make it nice, right?"

Gail's eyebrows rose as she looked up over her bottle, taking in Dov's expression which was one of both terror and awe at the rate at which this small girl was spewing words out of her mouth.

"So now I'm just, you know… hanging out in here, making sure nobody breaks anything…" Chloe's explanation finally seemed to taper off as she leant back into the bench next to Dov, smiling up at him in a manner that made Gail question how strong this girl's cheek muscles were.

As Dov and Chloe started to hit it off, Dov seemingly surprised by the other girl's apparent interest in whatever he had to say and Chloe intensely nodding on and interjecting as if they were old friends, Gail felt herself slip away slowly into the background before deciding she should probably find Holly. She allowed herself to wander back into the main living area, peering around corners and scanning the room for the familiar face that was the reason she was here.

She scowled as a drunk, sweaty boy slightly older than her began approaching her, bobbing along to the song playing as he smiled at her stupidly.

"Hey," he slurred, raising his drink toward her as he leant clumsily against the stair's polished balustrade in what she assumed was his attempt to appear inviting.

"Bye." She responded harshly, sweeping past him and up the stairs while trying to appear purposeful. As she reached the landing at the top of the stairs she peered down the hallway, detecting voices and a different, slower song diffusing with the ambience from downstairs. Deciding it was possible Holly was up here she tentatively stepped onto the lush carpet which she could feel herself sink into even through her boots and inched her way down the hallway. She stopped hesitantly just before the open doorway where the noise was coming from, debating peering in to see if Holly was in there when all of a sudden a distinct, musical laugh cut through all of the other noise swirling around her. She smiled at this discovery and allowed it to propel her through the doorway, though her momentum was abruptly stopped when she took in the scene in front of her, it only just occurring to her that other people were in the room with Holly.

It seemed to be an office or a rec room of sorts with bookshelves running along wall, a large desk in one corner and an array of leather couches and armchairs and musical instruments dispersed throughout. Occupying these couches was a group of guys around Holly's age, slowly passing a joint around the misshapen circle they were arranged in, the smell only just now hitting her.

"Hey blondie," a boy greeted from where he was reclined in an arm chair, his feet propped up on the coffee table in front of him, "you lost?"

At this Gail realised she was standing awkwardly half in and half out of the room and predictably she felt herself go red, her hand automatically reaching up to tug down on her sweater habitually as she debated retreating quickly back out of the room. That was until Holly piped up from where she was sitting on one of the couches.

"Gail!" She exclaimed excitedly, her tone levelling out slightly as she added on with fond smile "you came."

"Uh yeah, sorry, don't worry I'll go," Gail muttered as her eyes dropped toward the ground, glad Holly was happy to see her but uncomfortable with expressing this sentiment in front of a group of guys who were now all staring at her.

"No, no stay," Holly rushed, crossing the room in a few long, graceful steps, her warm hand enclosing around Gail's cold yet profusely sweaty one and guiding her over to where she'd been sitting.

"Guys, this is Gail," she said introducing her as she pulled Gail down to sit very snugly beside her.

Gail lifted her other hand in a slight half wave as the boys offered her a variety of nods and grunts in acknowledgement before continuing the little 'two then pass' they had going on.

"So Gail," the boy who had originally noticed her began, "you don't look familiar, what are you studying?"

He seemed genuinely interested in what she had to say but was at the same time throwing an indiscernible look at Holly that caused the older girl to roll her eyes at him in response.

At his attempt to make Gail seem more included she felt herself shrink further into the couch, sure that her answer would not particularly thrill the others. Who wanted a lame high schooler at their party, right?

"Uh, I'm actually still in high school, my last year." She responded indifferently though internally preparing herself for taunting and possible disapproval.

"Oh, preying on the young now are we Holly?" The boy smirked to himself and a few others chuckled discreetly while Holly tensed noticeably, her grip on Gail's hand tightening ever so slightly. It was only at this, though that Gail even realised she was still clutching Holly's hand and promptly freed herself in embarrassment, instead cautioning a look back toward the boy who's response to her admission had confused her.

Possibly sensing Gail's extreme discomfort the boy eased back on the teasing, replacing his smirk with a welcoming smile instead.

"Well it's nice to meet you Gail, any friend of Holly's is a friend of ours," he informed her sincerely, leaning further back into his seat, "I'm Derek by the way, this is kind of my party."

"Thanks for the hospitality," she said chuckling quietly while raising the bottle of beer he'd inadvertently supplied her in an act of explanation.

"Anytime," he replied with a smile she was sure had been used to charm many a girl in his time.

The lull in conversation that had been provoked by her arrival soon disappeared, with one particularly tall and lanky guy getting up to change the song which was met with unintelligible noises of appreciation which slowly transformed into actual conversation.

"Sorry about them," Holly said softly, her warm brown eyes reflecting concern and something else Gail couldn't quite trace.

"Don't worry, they seem nice," she reassured Holly as she finished off her drink, "and anyway I'm not exactly the most subtle person when it comes to entering a room full of strangers, apparently."

As a laugh of self-derision flowed out of Gail's lips, Holly leaned into her slightly and momentarily squeezed Gail's leg right above her kneecap before removing her warm presence just as quickly as she'd offered it, turning in the other direction to accept the communal joint which was coming her way. Gail was a little taken aback when Holly gladly and effortlessly accepted the joint, her lips lightly securing themselves around the end, inhaling the potent smoke deeply into her lungs like she had done it many times before. Maybe this is what Holly had been talking about when she said she knew how to have fun. Gail was beginning to realise she had probably been underestimating Holly's ability to be anything other than the giant science nerd she'd gotten to know so far.

Holly caught Gail's gaze out of the corner of her eye, the corners of her lips quirking up as she exhaled long and slowly, shuffling herself a bit closer to Gail as she extended the joint toward her. Gail looked up in surprise from the offending object in question, tentatively raising a hand to grasp it, not missing the way Holly's fingers brushed ever so slightly against hers during the transaction. Gail let out a shaky breath at the contact that sent a wave of fire rippling up from her fingertips to her chest, averting her eyes quickly from Holly's and contemplating the joint in her hand instead. Holly seemed to mistake Gail's sudden skittish demeanour as her being unsure about the joint and she moved in again to press up against Gail, ducking her head down to effectively force the younger girl to look at her.

"You don't have to smoke it you know," she suggested softly so that the others couldn't hear which caused Gail to chuckle, peer pressure definitely wasn't what she was worried about.

She was becoming all too aware of Holly's presence enveloping her, her scent somehow rivalling the pungent skunkiness dominating the room, causing her mind to bubble uncontrollably with a million questions she didn't have the answer to. To silence the frenzy in her head she took a long drag from the joint, sucking the smoke down deep into her lungs and holding it there for as long as she could muster. As she exhaled cautiously she could feel heaviness descend upon her already, calming her frayed nerves before she leant forward to pass it along to the next person.

When she finally felt like she could look back at Holly the older girl was smiling at her, amused.

"What would Mother Peck say if she could see you now?" She taunted good naturedly, still trying to adjust to this vulnerable but less uptight version of Gail before her.

Gail shrugged, not really wanting to think about her mother as she partook in activities that went against every fibre of what a Peck was supposed to stand for.

"Are you going to have to cancel your nerd membership now that you've finally ventured out of the library?" Gail countered, a dopey smile replacing what would have usually in this scenario been a smug grin as she dug her elbow into Holly's side teasingly.

Holly shook her head, a lock of her usually restrained hair falling into her face, obscuring Gail's view of the other girl as she lent in slowly, her lips ghosting over Gail's ear as she whispered into her ear.

"Not unless you keep this a secret."

Gail could feel her ear burn red hot as Holly retracted herself slowly, fixing Gail with an intense gaze that she could not place, the other girl's pupils were full blown and her eyes so very dark compared to the usual warm, comforting caramel orbs she was used. Gail put this down to the drugs and no doubt alcohol coursing through the other girl's system though all of a sudden Gail felt an unfamiliar sinking deep within her stomach, burning with the same intensity as her ear had only a few seconds earlier. It was with this that Gail felt herself being catapulted into a state of panic at the strange reaction Holly's simple touch had evoked in her. She stood up abruptly, mumbling something about needing the bathroom as she desperately scurried out of the room as to avoid looking at Holly's probably freaked out face. Little did she know however, those same dark eyes that had rattled her so much now followed Gail as she left the room, dripping with concern but also tinged with disappointment on their owner's behalf.

**XXXX**

Gail had eventually found solace outside on a porch swing which she assumed was an attempt by this family to appear quaint and familial. Either way, the plush cushions made of fabric probably more expensive than her entire bedroom suite embraced her in a non-intrusive hug which coupled with the crisp night air had slowly abated the paranoia that had crept up on her. It was stupid really, she knew from experience during her and Dov's little rebellious when they spent a summer raiding his brother's stash that she got extremely panicky when she smoked, especially when alcohol was added into the equation. For now she just allowed the swing to soothe her as it rocked back and forth gently in the breeze, her head tilted up to gaze up at the unusually clear night sky.

Her comforting momentum was interrupted though as another body lowered itself onto the seat beside her, reclining against the cushions yet not saying a word. Gail turned her head slowly, both annoyed and overjoyed to see the body belonged to Holly.

"Hey," Holly murmured softly, though her voice sounded incredibly loud compared to the relative silence Gail had been immersed in prior to the other girl's arrival.

"Hey," she croaked back, returning her eyes back up to the sky.

"Sorry about earlier, I can get a little touchy feely when I'm like that."

Gail scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion, turning her head slowly to consider Holly.

"I didn't mean to freak you out or anything so uh, we can just you know, forget about it or whatever," Holly garbled, avoiding eye contact with Gail by appearing to inspect an undetectable speck of lint on her top.

Gail still wasn't quite sure what Holly was talking about. Yeah she'd freaked out a little but those sensations, that heightened sense of alarm – it had all been because of the weed right? Gail shrugged and stuck her foot out to kick off, propelling the swing into a slightly more intense rocking that she eased into, closing her eyes. They sat like that in companionable silence for what seemed like hours but must have only been a few minutes.

"Is everything okay, Gail?"

Gail's eyes snapped open at this, ready to reply with her automatic response to such questions, yet felt herself pause. She wasn't really okay, was she? In fact she was pretty not-okay as far as that spectrum goes yet she found herself floundering over how to express this to Holly. Every time she tried to formulate a response she would squash it just as quickly as it came. But, why? Holly had asked, had she not? So why did Gail still feel like she was burdening Holly with something she didn't want to know about?

Holly felt her heart rise in her chest as she watched the scared and confused girl before her, her face a rollercoaster ride of conflicting emotions as she kept opening her mouth to say something before closing it in a resolute line. It was as if Gail was flicking frantically back and forth between what she _thought_ she should say and what she _wanted_ to say.

"No," Gail finally breathed out, her voice managing to crack audibly on that single syllable.

Before Holly could even prompt her further and ask why, Gail launched off onto the tangent she'd clearly been conflicted about elaborating on.

"I mean look at me. I can't even function like a normal human being and just let loose without having a fucking panic attack. Even fucking weed puts me on edge instead chilling me out. Typical me though, right? Able to screw up the most simplest of tasks…" Gail shook her head as she trailed off, biting the inside of her cheek as she looked away from Holly.

"Gail," Holly broached carefully, "plenty of people experience paranoia when they smoke, especially if you're anxious or over-thinking beforehand. Don't be so hard on yourself Gail, it sounds like you're under a lot of pressure at the moment and I'm sure that can't be good for you. Nobody is good at everything. Nobody."

"What? Even you, the perfect Holly are bad at something?"

Holly chuckled at Gail's impression that she was somehow flawless, not really sure why this girl of all people would think that about her.

"Nope," Holly popped, bumping shoulders ever so slightly with Gail, "I'm a _terrible_ dancer."

The blonde rolled her eyes at this admission but appreciated Holly's attempt to cheer her up, not that it was working that well.

"I don't know. It's just every day I wake up and I just wait for it. Just wait for the moment I fuck something up and inevitably disappoint somebody."

Wow, Gail thought. She was being such a cliché right now. Getting drunk and high and then spilling her worst fears and issues with some girl who had probably just been wondering if Gail needed a drink of water or something less profound than the insight Gail was now shedding.

"You've never disappointed me."

Gail's head snapped up at this, searching Holly's eyes for anything but the immense sincerity and worry that currently occupied them. When she couldn't find any hidden agenda though, her newfound intimate position felt incredibly suffocating and she slowed the swing to a stop before getting up.

"Well, then you haven't known me long enough. I'm going to go find Dov."

"Is Dov your guy from the café?" Holly enquired, her toned laced with the slightest tone of bitterness as she examined her shoes with great interest.

At this Gail had to laugh because no, Dov was definitely not her guy from the cafe and he would never resemble anything similar to what she had had with Nick.

"No," Gail reassured her, still smiling somewhat, "Dov is my best friend and anyway that guy from the diner is not 'mine' in any sense of the word."

Gail made sure she made that last point abundantly clear and was met with a stiff nod from Holly in return who now appeared to be blushing as she continued to avoid looking at Gail, which while intriguing Gail, it also gave her the perfect opportunity to slip back into the house.

**XXXX**

Gail was still shuddering slightly as she descended the stairs after checking the upstairs bedrooms for Dov. She'd found him alright. Half-naked in Chloe's bed with the other girl in a similar state of undress sitting atop him, which was more than enough of what Gail was comfortable seeing of her friend. At least now she had plenty of ammunition to use against him, especially since he'd carried on so much about her not ditching him too hook up with anyone. What a hypocrite.

She couldn't be too mad though, Dov could definitely use some more exposure in the lady department and who was she to try and stop that. Anyway, she was fairly sure if she'd gone back to Dov's house after the party as planned, he would've noticed she'd been smoking which while she knew he wouldn't say anything about would probably still upset him. Ever since his brother had overdosed six months ago, Dov had been very touchy about drugs and she could tell he worried about anyone close to him taking them, no matter how innocently or recreationally.

"Heading home, huh?"

Gail looked up as she finished closing the front door behind her, surprised to see Holly also making her way down the front path to the street.

"Yeah, not really in the mood anymore."

Not that Gail had really been in the mood at all that night but now more than ever she just wanted to curl up into a ball and fall asleep.

"How are you getting home?" Holly queried as the younger girl fell into step with her and they made their way to the street.

At this Gail paused as it occurred to her she hadn't really thought about it. Originally she and Dov were going to split a cab back to his house but without him she really couldn't afford a fare home and by now none of the buses would be running.

"Probably just walk," she replied nonchalantly.

"No you will not," Holly corrected her sternly.

"Says who?"

"Says me! There's no way I can in good conscience let you walk home alone at this time of night," she retorted though toning down her outrage slightly after her initial outburst.

"I can look after myself Holly."

"Fine," Holly concluded stopping and grabbing Gail's shoulders, swivelling the shorter girl to face her, "don't do it for yourself but do it for me. I will be out of my mind worried all night if you walk home."

Gail cursed at herself internally for being a jerk as she took in Holly's earnest expression, her watery eyes suggesting that Holly was just as concerned as she proclaimed to be.

"Fine, what do you suggest instead?"

Holly sighed, knowing how this would sound but figured it didn't really matter as long as Gail would be safe tonight.

"Just catch a cab with me back to my place. It won't cost much between the two of us and at least this way I'll know without a shadow of a doubt that you are alright."

Despite the obvious platonic tone of Holly's suggestion, she was still worried Gail would refuse, especially after she'd completely freaked out when Holly had tried to touch her and flirt with her earlier.

"Is this how all lesbians convince girls to sleep over?"

At this Holly felt herself go red up to the tip of her ears, scolding herself internally for making Gail feel uncomfortable. That was until she braved a look back up at Gail's face and was met with a trademark smirk and eye roll which put Holly at ease knowing Gail had only been joking.

"Only the good ones, Gail. Only the good ones."

**So I'm guessing most of you expected something big to happen Golly wise this chapter but never fear, IT is coming… eventually.**


End file.
